Often we view our child\u2019s bad behaviour and assume that they are the problem. “If only they are\u2026How I wish if he could\u2026Why can\u2019t my child be\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Well, here\u2019s good news; your child is not the problem.<\/p>\n
In fact, below the surface, their actions are perfectly normal. And YES, this includes their current bad behaviours too\u2026<\/p>\n
Your child\u2019s bad behaviour is normal\u2026Why? Because they are merely reacting to a learned negative belief.<\/p>\n
You see, the formative years of a child are full of new experiences. And each experience brings with it a belief that is “yet to be formed”.<\/p>\n
Each time the child encounters the same experience, this belief will either reinforce or weaken. Like a see-saw, swinging from one side to the other, gradually forming the child\u2019s belief. <\/p>\n
Over time, the belief is formed…<\/p>\n
Their evaluation is complete. Once formed, a belief rarely changes.<\/p>\n
From this point on, this belief will dictate the child\u2019s behaviour whenever they encounter any similar experiences.<\/p>\n
So…if this belief is positive, the child’s behaviours will be good. If this belief is negative, their corresponding behaviours will be bad. <\/p>\n
That\u2019s how our minds work. Experience leads to belief, and belief dictates behaviours. Good belief, good behaviour. Bad belief, bad behaviour.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s look at a few examples…<\/p>\n
Case One<\/p>\n
Experience:<\/strong> Name-calling and bullying by classmates in school.<\/p>\n Belief:<\/strong> Being mean, aggressive and calling names is okay.<\/p>\n Behaviour:<\/strong> Gets physical when he is upset with others. Pinch, push, throws things and shout at others.<\/p>\n Case Two<\/p>\n Experience:<\/strong> Poor social interaction in school, CCA and tuition centre. Lonely.<\/p>\n Belief:<\/strong> Using my phone is safe and more predictable that social interaction with others. <\/p>\n Behaviour:<\/strong> Extremely quiet and shy. Avoids interaction. Don\u2019t want to go out. No interest in studies.<\/p>\n Case Three<\/p>\n Experience:<\/strong> Classmates passing negative comments about her weight in class.<\/p>\n Belief:<\/strong> I am ugly. No one will love me.<\/p>\n Behaviour:<\/strong> Not eating. Cutting herself. Stays in her room all the time. Refuse to engage in any kind of activities.<\/p>\n By changing BELIEF. If you could only liberate your child from these learned negative belief inside their minds, then you could achieve long term change for your child.<\/p>\n Change the BELIEF, change the behaviour. Replace bad ones with good ones. Swap negative ones with positive ones. That\u2019s how we induce change and make it stick.<\/p>\n10-year-old boy always on the phone playing mobile games.<\/h2>\n
12-year-old girl who cut herself on the wrist.<\/h2>\n
How to change bad behaviour?<\/h2>\n